I have always heard of incredible miracles that happened to people… They would tell me, if it was not for Dorje Shugden’s protection, things would be so different for them.
I have heard people being saved from black magic, their finances improved, their near miss from entering the bardo prematurely… So many… And then I looked at myself and thought… Where’s my miracle? Did everyone’s scream over powered my soft cry for help? Hahaha Im just kidding about the last part.
So yeah… I mean, I want my share of miracles too! I have seen people lived through adversities in life, and that made me admire them… And then I look at myself, I had a pretty smooth sailing life… Not perfect, but smooth. Its not that I’m not ‘thankful’ for having a life that is free of ‘unpleasant circumstances and events’… The truth is, from the outside everything may look smooth sailing… But my samsara, manifest its worst… In my mind.
Well, all that bad karma’s gotta appear one way or the other, and in my case since the environmental does not condition it, I guess that’s why it arised in my mind. No one is every free of suffering in Samsara. This make things reallyyyy tough for me, as I’m in a constant battle against my negativities. And one moment of weakness would reward me with a boarding pass on ‘The ship to Avichi’.
Despite being weary of Samsara, I have my weak moments. One thing we all must firmly understand is, Samsara is a losing game. Its like a video game, that has its setting on ‘impossible to win, until that hero appears to save you, peasants’… Its like the movie Maze Runner…
You see, on the outside, Im a pretty quiet person. But when Im playing tug of war in my head, it sounds like your morning bazaar, multiplied a hundred times. So, although sometimes, good friends try to talk to me, they cant really get through, coz… Well, all my mental capasity is spent on… The noise within lol.
It is at these weak moments, when I am on the verge of raising the white flag on life, that my protector comes to my aid. And in the midst of all that noise in my head, a very random thought would appear to me, and I know damn well, its not mine. And it is the type of thought that is so Spock logic… That if I dont listen to it, I would feel like the donkey of the century – stupid and stuborn.
I will not share in detail, coz I feel it is not appropriate… But I do hope that my small sharing will help all those, who are suffering in their mind, just like me.
Dorje Shugden exists, and you have no idea how closely he watches over our wellbeing when we start being honest with ourselves.